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DO NOT MAKE A "REAL MAN" OUT OF A BOY.
All real men are different, the only fake men are the ones who pretend to be "real". Sakharov bears just as little resemblance to Schwarzenegger as Carmen is to the heroine mother. Help the boy choose the variant of the complex of masculine properties that is closer to him and in which he will be more successful. -
DO NOT RISE FROM HIM a warrior and defender of the fatherland. The historical destinies of the modern world, of which Russia is a part, are decided not on the battlefields, but in the sphere of scientific, technical and cultural achievements.
If your boy grows up as a worthy person and citizen who knows how to defend his rights and fulfill the responsibilities associated with them, he will cope with the defense of the fatherland. If he gets used to seeing enemies around
and solve everything from a position of strength, nothing, we cover up troubles, he does not shine in life. -
DO NOT TRAIN him as a hunter, this profession has long gone out of fashion. Almost half of the animal species
is listed in the Red Book, and human hunters sooner or later find themselves in the dock.
Let him better be an ecologist, conservationist and all those who need help. -
DO NOT TEACH HIM to be different from women. Firstly, he is already different from them. Secondly, peers will teach him not to be a girl, even against your will. Why would you sing in this loud,
but a voiceless choir? Parents are unique and must be soloists. -
DO NOT TEACH A BOY, like noble knights and abominable rapists, to treat a woman from a position of strength. It is beautiful to be a knight, but if your boy turns out to be in a relationship with a woman, not a leader, but a follower, or faces unfair competition from her, it will be a trauma for him. It is more reasonable to see in "a woman in general" an equal partner and potential friend.
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DO NOT try to shape your son in your own image and likeness. Even the Lord God failed, whose beloved creation often looks like an evil caricature of His plan. For a parent who does not suffer from megalomania, it is much more important to help the boy become himself.
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DO NOT MAKE the boy realize your unfulfilled dreams and illusions. You do not know what devils are guarding the path from which you once turned, and whether it exists at all. The only thing in your power is
help the boy choose the best development option for him, but the right to choose belongs to him. -
DO NOT try to pretend to be a strict father or affectionate mother if these traits are not peculiar to you. First, it is impossible to deceive a child. Secondly, it is not the abstract "sex-role model" that affects him, but the individual characteristics of the parent, his moral example and how he treats his son.
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DO NOT BELIEVE psychologists who say that inferior boys grow up in single-parent families. "Single-parent families" are not those in which there is no father or mother, but those where parental love is lacking. The mother's family has its own additional problems and difficulties, but it is better than a family with an alcoholic father or where the parents live like a cat and a dog.
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DO NOT ATTEMPT to replace your son with peer society, avoid confrontation with the boyish environment, even if you do not like it. The only thing you can do is mitigate the inevitable trauma and hardships associated with it. A confidential atmosphere in the family is the best against "bad comrades". And a one hundred percent guarantee against all troubles, if you believe the old advertisement, is given only by an insurance policy.
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DO NOT ABUSE the prohibitions and, if possible, avoid confrontation with the boy. If power is on your side, then it's time. Short-term gains can easily turn into long-term defeat.
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NEVER USE corporal punishment. The one who hits the child is not showing strength, but weakness. The seeming pedagogical effect is completely overshadowed by long-term alienation and hostility.
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DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FORCE your son a certain occupation or profession. By the time he makes his choice, your preferences may be morally and socially out of date. The only way is to enrich the interests of the child from early childhood, so that he has the widest possible choice of options and opportunities.
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DO NOT HELP TOO MUCH to the experience of your ancestors. Living conditions have changed dramatically, and some methods of education that were previously considered useful are not acceptable and ineffective today.
If you have a girl, not a boy, you can easily rephrase these simple rules in relation to her.
